HOW I WRITE ABOUT SEX...

And Dogs...

Whoa there pahrdner.

Whoaaaaaa...

Slow down.

I said “and”, not:

"WITH".

“AND”…

“How I Write About Sex-

AND Dogs…”

Not:

"How I Write About Sex-

WITH Dogs…"

Perverts all of you people trying to get your jollies out of written words that you want to be salacious when those words are really something different. You people do that all of the time on so many different levels, and on so many different things, too.

Like with Caitlyn Jenner.

                                           

“chick with a dick”.            

Until recently, in all of those thousands of pictures originally out there, when her transition first started, that broad still had her wee-wee you know.

  

Caitlyn still had her wee-wee in place when that early pic in that black negligee above was taken.

Really.

…

And I said “AND” and not “WITH” above.

“How I Write About Sex- And…”

…

Truth be told, I don’t, I don’t write about sex. And I don’t write about dogs either. My whole life might be easier if I did, both, write about sex, and write about dogs. My life would just be easier. I get in trouble all of the time because I’m the author of 11 books in 3 series, one called “The Puppy Series”, the second called “The Barking Dog Series”, and the third, a prequel to the other two, the two volume “And the Puppy Ain’t Here Yet”, and not one book is about sex, or a dog, puppy, or otherwise.                  

                                 

There is a dog in all of the books: a puppy in the first book of the three book Puppy Series, a young dog in the second book, and a youthful animal in the third book of that series. And that same being exists in the next six books of the Barking Dog Series, but he’s a device, a living character who’s daily antics move the tale along. But he’s a character who never speaks in any voice, passive or active. The animal is a plot device to move a tale forward, not a character telling the story, or actively moving it forward.

“Mr. Ed” he ain’t…

But the animal plays a big part in all of the books. As The Donald, Donald Trump would say, his role is:

“Huge…”                                                

"Believe me"...

The animal, the Puppy, the Dog, plays a “huge” role in all of the stories.

HUGE!

But none of the books in either series are about the animal per se.

None.

You should see the lines of vituperative annoyance people (mostly women), wrote after they picked up a copy of the lead tome in the first series, and read the first five chapters. The antics of the little puppy pictured on the cover are minimized by chapter three and the real story starts to come forward.

And just like in the title:

“And The Puppy Howls”…

… so do they.

They howled their displeasure.

HOWLS!

And they ripped the book apart with their angry critiques posted on the book’s retail page. And that’s their right, this is America and they have every right to voice their displeasure.

Every right.

But none of these “Ladies Who HOWLED” had read the book.

NONE!

Not one of them.

And they say so:

“I read 20 pages and the puppy disappeared, it’s not about the dog… so I stopped reading.”

“Even though it says on the jacket/description that’s it’s not about the cute dog on the cover, and in the title, I thought I would read it anyway, and I hated it because it’s not about the puppy.”

Yesssss…

It says right on the top of the book jacket, in the “contents” description of the sales page, before you buy a copy, or you read any word in the text. It says in BIG PRINT, ALL BOLD, and in plain sight:

“It’s not about a dog; it is about…”

And no matter the disclaimer, the description…

And no matter that old adage:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover…”

From Wikipedia…                                              

“The English idiom “don’t judge a book by its cover” is a metaphorical phrase which means “you shouldn’t prejudge the worth or value of something, by its outward appearance alone”. For example, if a book was entitled “great big hats” but was actually about birds…”

So they never got to the parts of the book with the sex.

Nooooo…

They never got to see how I write about sex; nor did they ever get to see how I write about dogs. And I do write about sex. And I do write about dogs. I do, I sometimes do, both, a little, in passing, as those elements fit into the narrative.

I wonder what those people (those same ladies), did with all of the pictures about Caitlyn way back when, not look? I mean Caitlyn didn’t have a label on the outside of her Vogue photo spread saying:

“ **** CAUTION **** 

 WEE-WEE WITHIN…”

Or:

“ **** Caution **** 

 Penis Enclosed.”

And at the time these pictures were taken, all of them, Caitlyn really did have a wee-wee.

          

C’EST VRAI!     

                   

C’EST VRAI.

Back then Caitlyn was a:

“chick with a dick…”

Hmmmmm…

So did those “ladies” not look at the rest of the pictures?

HAH!

I bet they looked at every one of them, and hard.

HARD!                                                 

Sooooo…

“How I Write About Sex- And Dogs…”

Truth in advertising?                                      

C’EST VRAI.